There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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