I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
