Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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