make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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