Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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