he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
