How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
