All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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