im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Just high enough for therapy.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
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