Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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