you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
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in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
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Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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