I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
