No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize