Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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