Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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