My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
