I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Randomize
