Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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