it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
