I'm going to jail i love you
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
