Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
