Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
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