I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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