Pappa wants mamma naked
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
