you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Come see our sink grown plant.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
