I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
