Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
