It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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