Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i drank out of a bidet.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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