I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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