I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
