If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
