I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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