fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
My vagina just recognized that song.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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