It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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