Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
