3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
