ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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