Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
