I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
