We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
