I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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