So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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