It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
