i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
