if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
