So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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