So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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