Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
