she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
