if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
