capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
