just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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