Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
sarcasm needs its own font
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
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I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
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Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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