i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
