My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
