Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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