i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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