I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
