she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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