Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
