So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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