Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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