I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
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