Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Randomize