hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
